By Archimandrite Porphyrios,
Abbot of the Holy Forerunner in Veria
Just a short while ago, I read another article on a topic that interests many. A respected monk from Mount Athos, who has now passed away, analyzes the subject: Youth and the Church.
Specifically, who or what is to blame for young people not attending Church?
I do not believe that young people do not go to Church. They do, and quite frequently. However, young people have certain expectations, and they express them more intensely than those who have since become set in their ways and indifferent. But that is a discussion for another time.
The text that will follow has been contemplated countless times, and, to tell the truth, each time I was about to write it, I was seized by an indistinct fear. Fear, because what you are about to read is not easily spoken.
A long and severe labor. And behold, now, the outcome. And since we are in Lent, in its second half, on the downward slope, which is also the more difficult part, I ask in advance for the sympathy of our readers.
1. On a journey from the sacred Mount Athos to Thessaloniki, by regular bus service, I experienced the following.
I was sitting in one of the front seats. Somehow it slipped my attention, and the small prayer rope on my hand was visible.
On the other side of the aisle, in the same row of seats, there was a little girl, in the fourth grade, Elenitsa, if I remember correctly. By now, she probably has children. The story is somewhat old.
In the passenger seat, there was a somewhat peculiar modern Greek woman — not thoughtless, but rather shallow-minded. It was evident from her overall appearance, and it was later confirmed in the course of the story.
The little girl in the neighboring seat struck up a conversation with us.
"What is that?" she asked about the prayer rope, making me feel embarrassed and immediately clench it in my hand.
"What do you do with this?" Such a charming little child. How could I dare to hide and change the subject? I spoke to her frankly and kindly, as to a child.
"You know, in our village, we have catechism school. But my mom doesn't let me go. I sneak out and go anyway. However, when she finds out from the other moms, she scolds me. She doesn't want me to go to church or catechism school. The little pictures our teacher gives us in catechism school, she takes them from me, and sometimes burns them or tears them up."
And somewhat conspiratorially, she turns more towards us and says: "Look, this is my mom," and she pointed to the lady in the passenger seat. "The driver is my dad."
After this astonishing revelation, I don't know how long our conversation lasted.
But I remember giving something to Elenitsa, which she put in her little pocket. In one of the next villages, they got off. On the steps, she secretly turned towards us and waved goodbye with her little hand.
2. Let's write one more little story. Fresh this time. From the day before yesterday.
We received a message on our mobile phone from a distressed mother. Her son refused to draw on cardboard and cut out a mask, and, of course, there was no question of him wearing it for Carnival.
"The elder said that we should not distort our faces with masks. Our face resembles Christ, who is saddened when we alter His image on our faces." And this was from a little third-grade student.
The third grade is probably the most important period in a child's life concerning issues of personality that relate to our life in the Holy Spirit. We have many examples, far too many.
I am somewhat afraid to say this, so that the antichrists, who believe they are "responsible" for the education of Greek children, the fools, do not hear it, as they cause further harm to the children.
The teacher, therefore, described the little boy as fanatical and told the mother to take care of him. Moreover, she suggested addressing who is and what he means by the term "elder" that her son keeps mentioning – in order to “advise” him.
Thank God, Christ still has clergy, and our young people have not been completely enslaved.
3. Third case, and a harmful one. The thread begins to unravel, and our reasoning is exposed — that is to say, it is revealed.
We are approached by parents who say: "Father, tell so-and-so, my child, not to be so religious, because they stand out and are not accepted at school." "Father, now they have the nationwide exams. Tell the child not to fast. They are still young, they have time ahead. They will fast later."
And many similar things.
But did the saints behave this way? Did the holy mothers act this way toward their sacred children?
Why do we honor Saint Kyriakos and Saint Julitta? Why do we honor Saint Meliton, one of the Forty Great Martyrs? Saint Akakios the New Martyr, whose mother sent him to sacred Mount Athos? And how many others?
4. Here is the fourth story. Athanasios from Koulakia, son of Polychronos and Loulouda, confronted the Turks. His father, a local notable, could have saved his son.
However, he allowed him to suffer martyrdom so as not to offend the conquerors. The parents did not even attend his burial. He was buried by Christian Gypsies, as Saint Nikodemos records in the "New Martyrology".
Regarding reactions by parents in regards to the topic of Monasticism, let us not speak. Saint Isaac the Syrian justifies the parents, but only until they are tonsured.
He writes that those who continue to react are possessed by a demon…
The greatest problem, to the highest degree, for young people who do not attend Church is THEIR PARENTS. Perhaps tragic, but true. And the truth is neither small nor large.
It is one and absolute. There may be, and there certainly will be, other reasons as well. However, allow us to consider parents the most serious reason.
Moreover, the Holy Gospel says it: "A man's enemies will be those of his own household." And the Holy Apostle says: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger." Not "do not make them angry," but "do not provoke" them, that is, do not drive them to extreme fury, do not "push them beyond their limits."
Honor and respect are one thing, and obedience is another.
“You are young, leave off fasting, you need to gain some weight.”
“You have grown up, you are a university student, you should try to find a good girl, you have needs.”
“What kind of outfit is that? Are you a nun? Come on, put on some fashionable clothes.”
We will not mention many saints. Only Saint Nicholas, who fasted from infancy on Wednesdays and Fridays, and lived to a great age.
A child is not a negotiable note nor a means for transactions.
“I raised you, you should consider me.”
“We raised you, and you have an obligation to take care of us.”
And so many other similar remarks, which provoke only anger and resentment in children. And they fill nursing homes because they cannot be endured.
I also have a mother. She never wore makeup nor dyed her hair. She never interfered in anyone’s household matters. For everyone, she is a safe harbor, and she has never caused turmoil for anyone. Only blessings come from her mouth.
And when someone asks her to "advise," that is, to intervene in other matters, she never agrees.
As a person, at ninety-three years of age, she has certainly experienced, suffered, and learned much. Once she went to a holy spiritual father and confessed. And the spiritual father asked her:
"Do you gossip?"
"No, never."
"Well then, you may always take communion whenever you wish."
We search for causes and reasons. We look for excuses and justifications. We shift responsibilities onto others. And so it goes.
Do we want something good to happen for the youth? Let us prepare mothers and fathers who strive rightly within the Church. And then there is hope. Great Hope. Christ.
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
